This post deals with sensitive topics including trauma and suice. If you’re affected by these issues, seek professional help as soon as possible. There are people who want to help you, but healing needs time and appropriate guidance. As my body remembers and the fragments return piece by piece, life gets progressively harder. I stillContinue reading “Ghosts”
Tag Archives: suicide
ER
None of the experience I describe below is advice. Despite the experience I describe, if you are experiencing mental health issues you should absolutely seek professional help that suits your needs. In an emergency, go to the ER, preferably with someone you trust who cares about you. Recently, I found myself in the Emergency RoomContinue reading “ER”
Recovering
The events described in this post took place in the lead-up to and during a recent mental health crisis. This is a reflection on that time – it is not intended as mental health advice. This post talks about trauma and suicidal ideation. If you are affected by these or similar issues, please seek professionalContinue reading “Recovering”
Losing
One more day, one step at a time – seek whatever help you need and hold on for tomorrow. Step. Who am I? I’m not sure I’ve ever known what that means. I prided myself on my intellect. I’m no genius, but my problem-solving ability has always served me and given me confidence. My bodyContinue reading “Losing”
What goes up…
Despite my negative experiences, if you’re experiencing a crisis, I urge you to seek all the professional (and emotional) help you can. Even the negative experiences can save your life as they have for me. Since my last post I crashed hard. I’ve been to both the Emergency Department at the hospital and a MentalContinue reading “What goes up…”
Unfiltered
Please, please, please keep reaching out to mental health professionals and helplines if, like me, you can’t do this alone. You will find someone who gets it even if you have to push through several options. The barriers to help suck. The cost, the waiting. Don’t give up–there is a way through this. The followingContinue reading “Unfiltered”
Revelations
I’d like to preface this by saying that I’m not a mental health or medical professional. If you’ve experienced any of the issues I talk about, please seek professional help. What I describe below has not been officially diagnosed for me, but is based on a lot of reading and introspection. Below are my lessonsContinue reading “Revelations”
Step…
Here’s my state of mind during a recent mental health crisis: Can’t go on.Have to.Back here again.Thoughts of suicide.Pain unbearable. “But you’ve got so much going for you. You have a wife and child who love you, a roof over your head and no financial problems. You’re going to be a teacher and earn moreContinue reading “Step…”
Why
I recently went through a mental health crisis. While I encourage you to follow the ideas in this post I wrote previously., I’m going to explain why those resources failed me in the hope that someone who works in mental health sees this and has the power and motivation to do something about it. IContinue reading “Why”
Survival
(Unfiltered post) I’m just coming out of a deep, dark, suicidal depression that’s lasted for the past two weeks or so. I’ve experienced depression since I was a young child and the lesson, I keep receiving from most mental health professionals is that my problems aren’t serious enough. I tend to get waves of suicidalContinue reading “Survival”
Suicidal thoughts
This is my recent personal experience. It’s going to come across as self-centred and dark. However, I’m sharing it so people can understand and get into the mindset of someone going through suicidal thoughts. If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, seek professional help immediately. This time is different. Last time I was in despair andContinue reading “Suicidal thoughts”
Fracturing
It feels like I’m falling apart. A fracture to the brain. Not myself…not me. My judgement’s off. So close to the dream yet so close to losing everything. So much to live for. So many people to help, but I must help myself. I’ve been in survival mode for so long I’m running out ofContinue reading “Fracturing”
Addiction
I’m an addict. I’ve been making excuses and avoiding confessing it for years. I believed I had things under control. In truth I’ve stunted my emotional development, hurt people and wasted a lot of time and money amongst the other problems that come with addiction. I can’t provide advice as I’m still working through myContinue reading “Addiction”
Hope 2
TLDR: This post deals with suicide. If in immediate danger, call the emergency services phone number or go to the nearest hospital or police station or reach out to a trusted person. If you’re having suicidal thoughts, copy out and follow this template: I commit to staying alive For: If in immediate danger I will:Continue reading “Hope 2”
Goal-setting
It has taken me most of my life to take up my dad’s advice. Goal-setting seemed so boring and restrictive before. Now it is essential. What changed? After a family member’s suicide and getting scarily close myself, I spent a lot of time trying to understand and learn about why people end their lives. ThisContinue reading “Goal-setting”
Passion Part 2
Where to start? Excuses If anyone wondered what happened to me, I have been on somewhat of a journey over the last few months. I disappeared for a while, my excuse to myself was an inability to produce anything of quality due to a lack of available time and energy but I now see thatContinue reading “Passion Part 2”
General update
t has been a tough few weeks. My mental health has taken a dive and I do not feel able to write anything of quality at the moment.
When I am feeling better I will start writing constructive posts again, but for now, here is an update.
Depression: a “depressive episode”
Preface I have very quickly found myself in a deep layer of depression and the only thing I can think to do is to try and write myself out of it. What you are about to read is the mind of someone deep in darkness. I cannot guarantee the quality of this post as itContinue reading “Depression: a “depressive episode””
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