It has taken me most of my life to take up my dad’s advice. Goal-setting seemed so boring and restrictive before. Now it is essential.
What changed?
After a family member’s suicide and getting scarily close myself, I spent a lot of time trying to understand and learn about why people end their lives. This lead me down a path of discovery of how to improve my life and I began to believe it was not only possible but essential.
I have spent a lot of time reflecting on where I am, where I have come from, and where I want to be.
The result? I feel a lot of time and progress was wasted in the depths of depression and limiting self-belief.
It was really hard to see that when I was drowning in it, but there is a way out. It starts with belief and grows by seeking help from outside your own mind. That could be through books, audio or accepting help from loved ones (if you accept it). Little steps that build into a snowball. Start with small goals and expand as your beliefs increase along with the motivation from all of your successes.
Time & Efficiency
Recently, I have felt overwhelmed with an ever-growing “to-do” list. This week I was given the gift of time. What a difference it can make if you use it wisely!
On Thursday, my last class was cancelled, and on Friday, one of my middle classes got cancelled.
There are two ways to look at the cancelled classes:
1. “Oh no, I lost 3 hours’ pay” -my initial reaction
or
2. How can I use this time the most effectively? -my choice
On Saturday, my wife and child went to visit family while I was at work and stayed there until the evening, giving me a third opportunity to get more things done.
Choices & Priorities
My list for December is made up of tasks from both jobs that need to be done before Christmas, personal development goals and small tasks connected to these. Everything has to be done by the 31st, but in what order?
Again, there are different ways to look at this. Go in order of time-which one is due first? Go in order of importance-what is the impact if I do not deliver?
Logic says to go in order of time, but some tasks require absolute focus for extended periods of time in order to be effective.
I find that it takes a lot of momentum to get back into the flow of a task, so repeatedly restarting is a bad use of time unless there is no other way and it really needs to be done urgently above all else.
Some short tasks fit into small time slots here and there. It comes down to when time is available, how I can be most effective at completing necessary tasks, and what my state of mind is for that time slot.
If my thinking power is drained, it makes sense to either rest or do tasks that do not require much brainpower.
What did you choose?
On Thursday, I chose to rush home and surprise my family so we could spend more time together. I was really excited and it was lovely to have dinner together and play with my child. It was energising and gave me much needed rest.
On Friday, I chose to smash out a task related to that job, as I do not often have that amount of time and focus available in one go (my coworkers were still working). Because of the amount of focus available to me, I completed the task in a much shorter time than if I did it a bit at a time. I was even able to have a video call with my family which was an awesome bonus. Again, being able to have the call gave me great motivation and energy.
On Saturday, I took a long bath to give me some recovery time-this is essential for clarity of thinking and my ability to work effectively. Once I was rested, I started working on big picture life goals for my family and I. We will refine these and put them into more detail as we go, but the main thing is that we have something to build from. If I procrastinated, I would have no written guidance to keep me on track from day to day.
How did you choose?
As mentioned, we are developing a set of life goals and this includes personal development goals.
I am dreaming again and dreaming big like I used to as a teen and young adult.
In order to achieve my goals, I have decided to take the Elon Musk approach. I make decisions through the lens of what actions/tasks will take me towards my goals, and what will take me away from them.
I now have a much clearer set of goals and action steps that I can look up quickly and easily and act accordingly. This enables me to drop things that do not move me closer to my dreams. However, there will always be things that just need to be done and you just cannot avoid-you learn to be efficient and do them as soon as possible.
I work better when fully dedicated to one task at a time, knowing I can complete it in the time available. This means cutting myself off from the world for that time. I create time in the mornings before everyone is awake to tackle these and have my to-do list available and updated across my devices so I can maximise any gaps in my day by knocking off smaller, quick tasks during that time.
I mentioned earlier that some things give me energy. I am talking about situations that are connected to my goals. This is, so far, the ultimate anti-depressant for me because it feeds my soul, speaks to my core and my goals cover health, family, work, leisure, nature, wealth and helping people. All are factors known to help improve mental health, but it is the sense of purpose and achievement, and enjoyment of the process that give me the most energy and combat negativity.
How do you set goals?
Basically, my plan consists of: what would we be, do and have in our lives if there was no limitation? I put a date at the top so I have a reference point.
I ended up with around 50 total. My wife will add more. Next is to make them as specific and detailed as possible and set a time. From there I split them into short and long-term goals based on the timelines I gave them. To the average person, these goals may look outrageous, but that is the point-they need to be a stretch. I am a dreamer, I am persistent, I take action, and I believe strongly enough now that I have found a way to get there. The more time I spend thinking about our goals, the more ideas come to me.
Once the goals were established, I created a “to-do” list for the next month and key steps to complete each year and I look at it at night time, in the morning and during any gaps in my schedule. This allows me to plan tomorrow and instantly know what to do with my time, so nothing is wasted and no brainpower is spent figuring it out.
Creating this system helps me stay on track and I can quickly monitor progress.
Having a system to guide me is speeding my progress exponentially and gives me something to focus on when I’m not feeling so energetic or enthusiastic. I have direction to where I ultimately want to go. The next step is my vision board. This is part of my strategy to defend my systems. I cannot rely on willpower.
Where did I get these ideas?
From outside myself-from people who have already succeeded and did it in similar ways. How did they succeed? They learnt from successful people. It is not a difficult concept, but as Jim Rohm says, “The things that are easy to do are also easy not to do”.
Start small
Motivation comes from a series of little wins along the road to your dreams and the persistence to keep going even through failure. In the depths of depression, these can be as small as taking a shower, eating something healthy, listening to an educational book, video or podcast, going for a walk, saying yes to a friend when they invite you to hang out. Build out from here. Love yourself.
What easy thing will you do now to improve your life?
Today’s Inspiration:
thejourneyx 
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