personal development – thejourneyx

Trauma

This is going to be messy and unorganized, but unfiltered. I know there are people who have had it far worse than I could ever imagine and I feel deeply for anyone who’s gone through any kind of trauma. However, one of the biggest sources of pain and suffering that I see and experience inContinue reading “Trauma”

Revelations

I’d like to preface this by saying that I’m not a mental health or medical professional. If you’ve experienced any of the issues I talk about, please seek professional help. What I describe below has not been officially diagnosed for me, but is based on a lot of reading and introspection. Below are my lessonsContinue reading “Revelations”

Life

Written in July 2025: I have a rare month with nothing to worry about. I did well in my first semester, and I won’t know what I’m studying next semester until it begins. I’ve had a lot of time to think. All this time off means for the first time since my child was born,Continue reading “Life”

Step…

Here’s my state of mind during a recent mental health crisis: Can’t go on.Have to.Back here again.Thoughts of suicide.Pain unbearable. “But you’ve got so much going for you. You have a wife and child who love you, a roof over your head and no financial problems. You’re going to be a teacher and earn moreContinue reading “Step…”

Control

In my last posts, I described a brief mental health crisis I went through. The lesson I’ve had to re-learn is that I need to re-shift my focus to what’s in my control. I need to take full ownership of my situation because no one else can or will. It’s nothing personal; it’s just thatContinue reading “Control”

Why

I recently went through a mental health crisis. While I encourage you to follow the ideas in this post I wrote previously., I’m going to explain why those resources failed me in the hope that someone who works in mental health sees this and has the power and motivation to do something about it. IContinue reading “Why”

Goals (III)

IntroductionAfter almost a decade of studying and living personal development, I’ve come to realise that a lot of the advice (including some of my own!) on making goals is convoluted. This puts many people off and makes it hard for them to achieve their goals. Goal-making doesn’t need to be complicated. I’ll walk you throughContinue reading “Goals (III)”

Still here

Posts will continue to be sporadic, but I’m still here. Here’s an update of what’s been going on in my life: It’s been a significant time of transition for my family and I. My job in management ended and we moved countries all as planned. The main reason for the move was quality of life.Continue reading “Still here”

Suicidal thoughts

This is my recent personal experience. It’s going to come across as self-centred and dark. However, I’m sharing it so people can understand and get into the mindset of someone going through suicidal thoughts. If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, seek professional help immediately. This time is different. Last time I was in despair andContinue reading “Suicidal thoughts”

Slow

IntroSometimes you need to say no and cut down. This will allow you to do fewer things better. This has been my journey over the past two years. OverloadI had two jobs and was studying for a diploma. I was also raising a child. I was consuming as much ‘educational’ content as possible. It soundsContinue reading “Slow”

Ménière’s??

This is a follow-up to Ménière’s? VertigoIt’s been a rough week. I had two major vertigo incidents. One ruined our Sunday plans with friends and family. The other happened quite publicly at work. Now more people know. With hospital visits and sickness, I’m having to take a lot of time off work, but health takesContinue reading “Ménière’s??”

Consistency

Progress is a core part of fulfilment. The only way to make meaningful progress is through consistency. Never miss twice. First thing’s first. Know (roughly) what you want. Do you want to learn a language? Do you want to read more books? You don’t need SMART goals, but you at least need a direction. YouContinue reading “Consistency”

Ménière’s?

In my previous post, I mentioned that work and separation from quality family time were making me sick. I meant this literally. Doctors suspect I may have Ménière’s Disease. The word ‘disease’ always sounds scary. In this case, it’s nothing life-threatening, but it is a pain in the ass. The definition and diagnosis of Meniere’sContinue reading “Ménière’s?”

Death

My beautiful grandad and last remaining grandparent passed away peacefully in his sleep. Inevitably, this got me thinking about death. Processing it, how it can bring family together, and the opportunity to step away from the busyness of life and reflect. Death is weird. Everyone grieves differently. Everyone processes it differently. You never believe it’sContinue reading “Death”

Fracturing

It feels like I’m falling apart. A fracture to the brain. Not myself…not me. My judgement’s off. So close to the dream yet so close to losing everything. So much to live for. So many people to help, but I must help myself. I’ve been in survival mode for so long I’m running out ofContinue reading “Fracturing”

One day at a time

There are good reasons people with addictions talk about ‘one day at a time’. One is that particularly at the beginning everything is hard. You’re facing a mountain. It can seem like a climb you can’t make. Thinking only of today ensures that’s your only job. It becomes manageable. Your only focus is to getContinue reading “One day at a time”

Mental bandwidth

Years of depression, anxiety, struggle, busyness and ongoing addiction have had a significant impact on my ability to think clearly. It was only when I committed to abstinence, occasional meditation and running that my mental clarity grew significantly. (I still slip up sometimes.) I was amazed by the mental bandwidth awarded to me for theseContinue reading “Mental bandwidth”

Rest

Recently I experienced the detrimental effects of a lack of sleep. Through work stress, deadlines and family things, I was waking up several times in the middle of the night every night for over two weeks. Then I’d go to work early to work on personal projects. When work starts it’s “Go! Go! Go!” withContinue reading “Rest”

Language

Language is more powerful than you might think. It can be used to build people up or it can be used as a weapon to destroy. This is particularly true for self-talk. What habitual language do you use every day? Having a child has revealed some of mine to me and it’s not all good.Continue reading “Language”

Don’t react, respond

Wanting to help is not the same as being helpful. I keep having to remind myself to respond instead of reacting. Stop, step back, assess, respond. When I fail to do that I’m like someone running into a burning building with no knowledge or plan. I want to help, but end up making things worse.Continue reading “Don’t react, respond”

Practice

If you look at the greats, they don’t just well perform on the day. They perform well on the day because they’ve practiced different eventualities, every move thousands of times before the day, making it look simple. Deliberate practice. They sweat the details. We don’t see the minute details of their practice and tweaking andContinue reading “Practice”

Deadlines

Deadlines ensure work is done in a reasonable time or faster than it would have otherwise been done. They’re powerful, create extra pressure and get stuff done, but they can be hard to stay on top of when you have multiple deadlines running simultaneously. This is more a lesson for myself: In the last fewContinue reading “Deadlines”

Strengths

Recently my weaknesses have all been laid out in front of me. The question is: what do I do about it? Do I aggressively focus on making my weaknesses better? Or do I focus on my strengths instead? My gut tells me to go with my strengths as this will provide maximum effort, fun andContinue reading “Strengths”

No Black and White

For a long time, I thought in black and white. It turns out life doesn’t divide so neatly. “Good people” do bad things. “Bad people” do good things. I’ve seen both. I’ve been been both. It’s all different shades of the spectrum. There’s always more to it than meets the eye. Reminders to self: HowContinue reading “No Black and White”

Addiction

I’m an addict. I’ve been making excuses and avoiding confessing it for years. I believed I had things under control. In truth I’ve stunted my emotional development, hurt people and wasted a lot of time and money amongst the other problems that come with addiction. I can’t provide advice as I’m still working through myContinue reading “Addiction”

Chaos

Thinking: erratic. Task switching. No focus. What’s happening? Days full of progress, followed by friction. More sleep needed. How can we avoid mental chaos? Choose one thing and focus everything on that until it’s done. This will lead to much-needed salvation and mental rest. It’s time to prioritise. What’s the most important thing you needContinue reading “Chaos”

Hope 2

TLDR: This post deals with suicide. If in immediate danger, call the emergency services phone number or go to the nearest hospital or police station or reach out to a trusted person. If you’re having suicidal thoughts, copy out and follow this template: I commit to staying alive For: If in immediate danger I will:Continue reading “Hope 2”

Reflections (2023)

As we come to the end of another year, it’s time to reflect on 2023. For some reason, I initially felt disappointed because I didn’t think I’d made much progress. However, having reviewed my original goals for the year, I’ve reached most of them. Either way, I’m much further ahead than I would have beenContinue reading “Reflections (2023)”

Hope

If negative circumstances, negative thinking, or depression are things you are struggling with, I recommend watching this video.
Choose one small thing that you can change and will change right now. Do this regularly – it’ll change your life.

Progress

Whenever I feel lost, I find it helpful to ask myself a simple question: Did I make progress today? This is so powerful for me because, on my journey through depression toward fulfillment, progress has been the most powerful driving force. When I’m getting better at something my self-esteem, self-confidence, self-belief, sense of fulfillment, andContinue reading “Progress”

Presence

If there’s one single thing you can do to immediately improve your life and the lives of those around you it’s presence. Presence is the greatest present. In this post I’ll talk about my experience of presence, flow, why presence is important and some ways that have helped me to achieve it. What is presence?Continue reading “Presence”

1h. Fundamentals (Foundations 1/3) – Mental Health: Physical Health

TLDR: The following will help your mental health: This post discusses why and how. It’s not my place to recommend specific diets, routines or habits – everyone is different. Speak to a medical professional about what’s right for you. Introduction When I was experiencing the depths of depression, the idea of living longer didn’t appealContinue reading “1h. Fundamentals (Foundations 1/3) – Mental Health: Physical Health”

Age

Health and time – takeaways at the end. When you’re young, there’s a tendency to believe you’ll live forever. I believed my health and time would continue endlessly no matter what I did, so I treated my body and time accordingly. I don’t consider myself old but I’m beginning to notice some changes and asContinue reading “Age”

Opportunity

It’s taken most of my life to realise the power of opportunity and the present moment. Having missed many potentially life-changing opportunities, I learned the value and necessity of taking opportunities immediately and ultimately realised that it’s possible to create them. It’s easy to think that you’ll do something when the time’s ‘right’ but you’llContinue reading “Opportunity”

Incremental Progress

TLDR: Get plenty of rest and sleep, reduce distractions, prioritise, focus on what you can prevent, do your best, focus on what you can control, take opportunities immediately, respond don’t react. I made a commitment to myself to become a writer. This means writing every day. I write a lot that I never post andContinue reading “Incremental Progress”

Study

Study has the power to change your life. The keys are to pursue what interests you, read or listen a little every day, narrow down your filter over time and apply what you learn immediately. How you study is also important. It’s really important that you pursue what interests you, especially in the beginning. IfContinue reading “Study”

1g. Fundamentals (Foundations 1/3) – Mental Health: Structure

This is part of a series. If you’d like to see the other series posts they are labelled alphanumerically. Start here. TLDR: a life without order creates unintended chaos and problems in your life. This makes it very difficult to improve your life. You need to take control of your life. Create order in yourContinue reading “1g. Fundamentals (Foundations 1/3) – Mental Health: Structure”

1f. Fundamentals (Foundations 1/3) – Mental Health: Triggers & Tools

For the purposes of this section, I’ll assume you’re already seeking professional help. If you aren’t already, please do that first. Introduction So far, we’ve discussed various aspects of mental health including suicide, depression, anxiety and self-harm. Within that context, let’s look at how to recognise what triggers negative thinking and behaviour and why, andContinue reading “1f. Fundamentals (Foundations 1/3) – Mental Health: Triggers & Tools”

Goals

– You can have everything you want(just not all at once) (Series hiatus) TLDR Re-define realistic. Goals don’t need to be huge in the beginning. Be careful what you tell children about their dreams. Don’t delay gratification until you achieve your goals – enjoy the process, learn to not be attached to the result. AvoidContinue reading “Goals”

Burnout

(Unplanned post Part 2 – tools at the end) So now I’d like to talk about burnout. I’ll talk about how it developed, what it looks like, how it makes me feel and how I’m fighting it. How it developed It seems quite obvious, probably to you too if you read Part 1, but IContinue reading “Burnout”

Life Decision

(Unplanned post Part 1) It’s time for another unplanned spontaneous post. I don’t know exactly where this is going but it will be clear by the end. So recently I’ve been struggling with low energy and burnout. I’ve been in a job for 9 months while holding onto a part-time job. The main job isContinue reading “Life Decision”

Happy New Year everyone! I wish you a year of love, growth, and fulfillment, ever moving closer to your goals and dreams. I mentioned that I want my posts to be actionable and I referred a lot to Triggers and Tools in the previous posts. For now, please refer to the old version here. AnContinue reading “Happy New Year! (More of the series to follow in the coming weeks!)”

1e. Fundamentals (Foundations 1/3) – Mental Health: Self-harm

If you or someone you know are having thoughts about hurting or killing yourself, please consult a medical professional immediately, call the emergency services or go to the Emergency Department at the nearest hospital. Failing this, call a helpline or a friend. Go here for emergency numbers and helplines: https://www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines or https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp. Don’t be aloneContinue reading “1e. Fundamentals (Foundations 1/3) – Mental Health: Self-harm “

1d. Fundamentals (Foundations 1/3) – Mental Health: Anxiety (GAD)

If you or someone you know are having thoughts about hurting or killing yourself, please consult a medical professional immediately, call the emergency services or go to the Emergency Department at the nearest hospital. Failing this, call a helpline or a friend. Go here for emergency numbers and helplines: https://www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines or https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp. Don’t be aloneContinue reading “1d. Fundamentals (Foundations 1/3) – Mental Health: Anxiety (GAD) “

1c. Fundamentals (Foundations 1/3) – Mental Health: Depression (PDD)

Introduction If you or someone you know are having thoughts about hurting or killing yourself, please consult a medical professional immediately, call the emergency services or go to the Emergency Department at the nearest hospital. Failing this, call a helpline or a friend. Go here for emergency numbers and helplines: https://www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines or https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp. Do notContinue reading “1c. Fundamentals (Foundations 1/3) – Mental Health: Depression (PDD)”

1b. Fundamentals (Foundations 1/3) – Mental Health: Suicide

Before we start, note that I am not a mental health professional. If you or someone you know are having thoughts about hurting or killing yourself, please consult a medical professional immediately, call the emergency services or go to the Emergency Department at the nearest hospital. Failing this, call a helpline, or a friend, orContinue reading “1b. Fundamentals (Foundations 1/3) – Mental Health: Suicide”