leadership – thejourneyx

You may have noticed I went dark for a while. I am currently in a transition period, the process of recalibration, learning how to go from teacher to manager. This has challenged the systems I had in place to protect my mental health. More on that later – a bit of background first and some lessons I have learned at the end. Background – From Teacher to Manager (Imposter Syndrome)Until just before my post on R&R, I had a highly productive schedule, using the early hours of the morning from 4 or 5 am to around 10 am to read, study or write. After that, I would have breakfast with my family and then cycle to work. This was working really well. I was tired but productive, achieving, increasing my self-esteem and staving off depression. Since then, I have transitioned from being a teacher to a regional manager. This means a big schedule change. My previous teaching hours were between 1 pm-9 pm. I now essentially have a 9-5 office job. My day off was Tuesday. Now it is Saturday & Sunday, but my part-time job was on those days until the academic year ended last week, so I worked three weeks with no day off. I also have to drive to work, which means less exercise and more stress (peak hour traffic, abrupt lane changes and stopping = a mini-heart attack every day!). The naive part of me thought the transition would be business as usual, just with some schedule adjustments. To stay productive, I thought it would just be a case of getting up earlier but I had not taken into account the stress of the new responsibilities and the lack of days off as I changed jobs.My first few weeks have been quite intense as I learn about my new role. AnxietyI have had very little time to feel depressed. What I have struggled with is anxiety.Here is what anxiety looks like for me: racing thoughts, increased heart rate, headaches from stress, impaired concentration and forgetfulness, incredibly focused concentration, and a general feeling of impending doom. In my main job, I have gone from being responsible for teaching around 8 classes to representing the whole company and being responsible (and first point of contact) for around 18 schools. This, and my lack of experience leaves me constantly questioning the decisions I make on a daily basis. I have the title, but I sometimes have the feeling of ‘Imposter Syndrome’.Continue reading “Recalibration (bionic reading)”