Intro
Sometimes you need to say no and cut down. This will allow you to do fewer things better. This has been my journey over the past two years.
Overload
I had two jobs and was studying for a diploma. I was also raising a child. I was consuming as much ‘educational’ content as possible.
It sounds silly now as I write it out. It should have been obvious that it was too much, but that’s often the way. You can easily spot the unhelpful things other people do to themselves. However, you can’t see what you’re doing to yourself.
Re-evaluation
Thankfully, I have a mentor who could see what was happening. He suggested I re-evaluate what was really important and necessary. It took me two years of getting regularly unwell to really listen. , but I quit one of the jobs, postponed the study and focused on my family.
Cutting back
Before I pruned my lifestyle, I often found myself anxious, depressed, muddled and slow to think and react. I procrastinated often. I don’t know how I spent most of two years in that state. I guess it’s kind of like being caught in a blizzard. You have no idea if you’re still going in the right direction because you can’t see clearly.
Regrowth
As I cut things back (gradually over a year), I began to notice my mental bandwidth increase. I was able to think more clearly and began to become biased for action. My confidence grew. I’m started producing more quantity and quality at work. This was important progress, but there’s still plenty to work on.
Health problems
I learnt a lot from the last two years. However, pushing your mind and body for so long causes longer-term problems. It’s inevitable. It should only ever be a short-term push to get something over the line. You can only redline for so long before something breaks. In my case, that’s my health. I’ve made meaningful progress in my mental health, but my physical health is lacking:
- Over increasing intervals, I’ve been experiencing temporary hearing loss and vertigo
- I regularly feel depleted of energy and it takes a longer time to recover. It’s like no matter how much I rest, my battery is leaking energy
- I’m unfit and overweight
While this is my current reality, it doesn’t have to stay that way. A long-term lifestyle change is the only chance I have of fixing this (if it’s not already too late).
Solutions
It took getting unwell and unhealthy enough to take action. Hopefully you don’t need to get that far to learn this lesson. To improve things, I’m now doing the following:
- Simplifying and scheduling my routines
- Scheduling windows of productivity and restful periods in dedicated time blocks
- Being ruthless about what content to consume and when (I’m focusing on audiobooks I’ve actively searched for on a specific area I want to master)
- Deleting apps and unsubscribing from YouTube channels and emails if they don’t fit my goals
- Following the Wim Hof Method (for me this means cold showers and breathing exercises)
- Seeing a doctor regularly to diagnose and treat the health issues
- Managing my energy
- Slowing down in general
- Learning to relax instead of always trying to consume or produce
- Learning to recognise my wins
- Reviewing the above on a semi-regular basis
- Planning a future that’s better for family life and health (and executing on that plan)
The future
We’re planning a move to another country and for me to study there for two years. The goal is to improve our prospects and give us a better lifestyle. While this plan has its pressures, it’s in a place we love. We’ll be close to family and nature and for two years. Also, I’ll be able to focus on my studies and family.
The environment where we plan to move is better suited for children. The work culture is different and should help give me the space to fully enjoy spending time as a family. I hope my child will also be able to feel that Daddy’s getting better.
I also hope they will see Daddy’s more able to play with them. I don’t want my child to grow up with their dad unable to play and be present with them. I don’t want them to get used to hearing “Daddy’s tired”. Quality time is more important than quantity (although both would be perfect).
I plan to schedule my study and family time to allow me to focus on one at a time. Currently, my job spreads my focus in several directions and gives me little choice over what to focus on. I want to master one area. And when I’m not actively doing that thing, I’ll be with my family enjoying life.
It’s time to slow down.
Do you need to slow down?
What do you need to prune in your life?
What is the Wim Hof Method? Wim Hof, 2024:
https://www.wimhofmethod.com/practice-the-method
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