1f. Fundamentals (Foundations 1/3) – Mental Health: Triggers & Tools

For the purposes of this section, I’ll assume you’re already seeking professional help. If you aren’t already, please do that first.

Introduction

So far, we’ve discussed various aspects of mental health including suicide, depression, anxiety and self-harm. Within that context, let’s look at how to recognise what triggers negative thinking and behaviour and why, and develop a range of short and long-term tools you can use to reduce their effect.

At the end, I’ve included a list of the authors, speakers and books that have most helped me and a document based on these initial lists which is open for public contribution. You are welcome and encouraged to help the community by directly adding any ideas you have about triggers and tools to the document. If you’d like to be recognised for your addition, please leave your username next to it.

Triggers

Defining triggers

Before we go into how to recognise triggers, it’s important to define terms.A trigger is essentially a reaction. It could be a specific type of comment or behaviour from someone else or a specific type of situation. The reaction is immediate, without thought and negative. It sets off negative emotions which can then set off negative thought patterns and behaviour and can develop into a downward cycle if not dealt with effectively.

So, how can we reverse the cycle? Let’s look at recognising what triggers you and why. Once you know what triggers you, you can be better prepared to manage it the next time it happens. The key is to reflect on your emotions.

Recognising triggers

Emotions are incredibly useful and powerful. The first step to recognising your triggers is to pay attention to strong emotions and reflect on them. Go in with curiosity rather than judgement.

Some triggers and their reasons can be quite obvious.

Here are some examples:

• Someone cuts in line – it seems unfair.
• Someone insults you publicly – you feel embarrassed or angry because you’re worried about what other people think or because the person disrespected you.
• You have to give a speech in front of an audience – it makes you anxious because you want to do a great job or you worry about messing it up.
• Your boss says, “Can we talk?” with no explanation – you feel nervous because you wonder what happened and what consequences there might be.

Other triggers are less obvious and take more thought. For these situations try writing down the following questions and asking them to yourself when triggered (or shortly after):

1. What emotion am I feeling?
2. When did this start?
3. What situation caused it to start?
4. Why am I bothered by that situation?
5. Am I projecting? (Do I feel negatively about someone else because I’m worried or insecure about that in myself?)
6. What’s happening in my body? (e.g. rapid heart rate, sweating, trembling)
7. Have I experienced this before?
8. Is there a pattern or connection?

You could have the questions stored on your phone or on a paper note you carry with you. Write your answers so you can organise your thoughts and refer back to them next time you are faced with a similar situation. You could also put this in your journal if you have one.

Once you’ve done this, ask yourself the following questions:

1. What have I learnt from this experience?
2. Can I avoid the triggering situation in future?
3. Would it be healthy or practical to avoid the situation?
4. How can I slow down or stop to give myself time to respond rather than react?
5. Can I do anything to interrupt negative patterns of thinking or behaviour?
6. What can I do to reduce the impact of the situation on my mind and body?
7. What could I do differently next time?

Your situation may involve developing and asking different questions but the main principle is to figure out what is happening, why and how to reduce or stop it by focusing on what you can control. In the moment sometimes a distraction is all you need, but at some point, it will help to figure out why those triggers are affecting you and how to reduce their impact on you. You’ll see over time that it is possible to train yourself to choose how you respond instead of simply reacting. Now let’s look at what tools are, including short-term tools we can use when we are triggered and long-term tools to reduce and prevent the effect of the triggers.

Tools

Defining tools

Positive mental health requires insurance. We need to develop tools to protect the progress we make. It is no use getting to a positive place if you are unable to cope when negativity comes back into your life.

It’s good to develop a range of tools for every situation you encounter and adapt this as you go.

When I talk about tools, in the short-term, I’m talking about the ways we can use to come back to the state we were in before the trigger occurred, or even better, a calm, peaceful state (equanimity).

In the long term, I’m talking about the strategies that can help us reduce the effect of the triggers over time and live more peacefully overall.

My memory is not always reliable, especially when affected by strong emotions, so if you’re like me consider carrying with you a list of tools that work for you. This could be on paper or on your phone.

Below are two lists of tools you can try out for different situations in both the short-term and long-term.

Short-term tools:

These are coping methods for when you’re experiencing negative emotions. To develop your own list, think about what relaxes you, excites you or makes you feel alive. These reduce stress, distract you from negativity, kickstart positive thinking, and feed your soul.

Think about the situations when you feel positive emotions and consider why. Can you increase these in your life? Try different things until you find a small number of things that work for you – the goal is to improve your mood, thinking patterns and ultimately your behaviour. Do an internet search for anything you’re not sure of. Some of the tools listed can be combined.

Here is a list of short-term tools:

• focusing on what’s in your control
• practising focusing on and enjoying the present moment
• getting into flow (see Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s book)
• helping (serving) other people, animals or the planet (giving time, services or money) (check out the Tao Te Ching Chapter 7)
• applied learning (books, podcasts, audiobooks, educational YouTube videos etc.)
• journaling: daily writing about personal reflections* and gratitude
  • reflections: feelings, what went well in your day, what could have gone better and how
  • gratitude: three or more things specific to you that you’re grateful for
• a change of activity or environment
• upbeat or relaxing music or nature sounds
• motivational content (+ action)
• meditation
• naps and managing energy levels
• walks
• taking time to enjoy small pleasures in the day
• reminding yourself This too shall pass
• quality time with family/friends
• talking to someone you trust
• time in nature
• baths
• exercise you enjoy
• hobbies
• daily little wins
• reducing minor stressors (organising/tidying my room)
• cold showers (check out Andrew Huberman and Tony Robbins)
• breathing techniques

*Note: as reflection comes from within, it’s really important to combine this with some kind of positive input from outside yourself (e.g. a self-help book/video) as it’s easy to get stuck in negative thinking loops.

Long-term tools:

Try starting with one or two things for a month. If it works for you, make time for it each day so it becomes a habit. Many of the short-term tools mentioned above can be built into long-term habits. The four biggest ones that have impacted my life are: focusing on what’s in my control, practising being present, training myself to get into flow more regularly, and serving others.

Here is a list of other long-term tools:

• CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)
• DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy)
• planning the day (the night before)
• winning the morning – doing one productive or creative thing every morning to move me closer to my goals before everyone else is awake
• building little wins every day
• building a morning routine (check out Hal Elrod, Jay Shetty or Robin Sharma)
• building positive habits over time and tying this to your identity (check out James Clear’s Atomic Habits)
• simplifying your goals and tasks for the day
• progress – daily work towards your goals (builds confidence, self-esteem and competence)
• realizing you don’t find time you make time
• accepting that you are enough as you are
• healthy eating
• cutting out alcohol
• making time for fun
• daily discipline (do the work regardless of whether you feel like it) and never stop until you succeed (check out Brian Tracy and Dale Carnegie)
• redirecting bad habits and negativity into positive, creative obsessions
• outsource decision-making (schedules, checklists, same food, same clothes, routines and habits)
• everything in moderation
• reading about Stoicism, Buddhism and Daoism (check out the Tao Te Ching, Alan Watts and Zhuangzi)
• being open to feedback from everyone, but only taking advice from people who have experience in what they’re talking about
• keeping rooms and workspaces organized and tidy (check out Jordan Peterson)
• reducing possessions
• a dark, minimalist bedroom (just a bed, bedside table, light and clock)
• practising self-care
• creating no-go areas and times for tech (e.g. bedroom, bathroom, family time and just after waking up or just before going to bed)
• doing something relaxing after work
• taking action quickly on difficult things (check out Brian Tracy)
• avoiding the news
• deleting/reducing social media
• turning off phone notifications
• only checking emails once a day
• go the extra mile / do more than the minimum / try your best (check out Jim Rohn, Earl Knightingale and Brian Tracy)
• learning about the Shadow (Carl Jung)
• learning to forgive others and myself
• identifying your core values
• using your core values to make decisions
• figuring out your passions and purpose, building a vision for the future and setting goals that are linked to helping others
• figuring out who or what you need to become or learn to achieve the goals
• breaking down goals into small daily actions/habits
• positive framing (turning negative thoughts/situations into positives – check out Jocko Willink and Tony Robbins)
• reviewing positive and negative self-talk or language with others
• reviewing positive and negative habits and thought patterns regularly (check out Jim Rohn)
• reviewing the positive and negative influences in your day, increasing the positives and cutting out the negatives (especially unnecessary or time-wasting activities)
• practicing responding rather than reacting
  • Where’s BRAD? (Breathe, Remove, Assess, Do.)
    • circular breathing, remove your self (and emotion) from the situation, assess the available options, take action without delay based on the best option (from my mentor).
• only comparing yourself to yourself yesterday (not other people)
• taking responsibility for your failures and successes (check out Jocko Willink and Brian Tracy)
• planning your day, year and next five years with flexibility built-in  / choosing to live actively not passively (check out Jim Rohn)
• choosing how to spend your time, choosing positive people and things over negatives (Earl Knightingale and Brian Tracy)
• act based on whether things will take you toward or away from your goals or who you want to be
• accepting emotions without judgement / paying no attention to the emotion
• X minute rule (allow a strong emotion to affect you for a set number of minutes then move on – check out Mel Robbins)

Conclusion

Develop a list of questions and tools that are suitable for you and keep them with you at all times.

It’s useful to check in with yourself regularly; are you moving forward? Don’t be too hard on yourself if not – try to do one small thing today to help yourself. A little progress each day adds up.

What are your triggers? Do you have any tools you can share to help others? Add the tools that have helped you to the document here.

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References

For many of the speakers listed, I encourage you to search YouTube for their talks and interviews as there are far too many to list here. I’ve linked many with their own channels.

For some of the authors, I have only listed their name as again, there are too many specific resources to list.

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Speakers/Podcasts

Billy Alsbrooks

Alex Becker

Buddhism

Tom Bilyeu

Wayne Dyer

Hal Elrod

David Goggins

Andrew Huberman

Earl Knightingale

John C. Maxwell

Motiversity

Jordan Peterson

Mel Robbins

Tony Robbins

Jim Rohn

Robin Sharma

Jay Shetty

Brian Tracy

Vox Stoica

Alan Watts

Jocko Willink

Authors

James Allen – As a Man Thinketh

Marcus Aurelius – Meditations

Dale Carnegie – How to Stop Worrying and Start Living

Dale Carnegie – How to Win Friends and Influence People

Dale Carnegie – The Art of Public Speaking

James Clear – Atomic Habits

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi – Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience

Wayne Dyer

Hal Elrod – The Miracle Morning: The Not-So-Obvious Secret Guaranteed to Transform Your Life (Before 8AM)

Victor Frankl – Man’s Search for Meaning

David Goggins – Can’t Hurt Me

Napoleon Hill – Think and Grow Rich

Napoleon Hill – Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude

Carl Jung

John C. Maxwell

Jordan Peterson

Mel Robbins – The 5 Second Rule

Tony Robbins

Jim Rohn

Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Brian Tracy

Lao Tzu – Tao Te Ching

Zhuang Zi

Robin Sharma

Jay Shetty – Think Like a Monk

Alan Watts

Jocko Willink

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Sites

Anxiety & Depression Association of America (ADAA) – Tips
https://adaa.org/tips

Alin Cuncic – Very Well Mind – What Does It Mean to Be ‘Triggered’
https://www.verywellmind.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-triggered-4175432

Katherine Pont, JD, MBA – National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) – Understanding Mental Illness Triggers
https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/January-2022/Understanding-Mental-Illness-Triggers

Mariana Plata – Psychology Today – How to Spot Your Emotional Triggers
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-gen-y-psy/201810/how-spot-your-emotional-triggers

Psychology Today – Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/cognitive-behavioral-therapy

Psychology Today – Dialectical Behavior Therapy
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/dialectical-behavior-therapy

Marcia Reynolds Psy.D. – Psychology Today – 5 Steps for Managing Your Emotional Triggers
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/wander-woman/201507/5-steps-for-managing-your-emotional-triggers

Jari Roomer – Medium – How To Reach Flow State (Using 10 Flow State ‘Triggers’)
https://medium.com/personal-growth-lab/how-to-reach-flow-state-using-10-flow-state-triggers-473aa28dc3e5

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Bionic Reading
https://app.bionic-reading.com/

The Vision
https://thejourneyx.com/2022/06/10/my-vision/

Supporting The Mission and Vision
https://thejourneyx.com/2022/08/10/support-the-mission-and-vision/