R&R 2

This post is separate from the series. The series will continue soon following alphanumerically from the previous post from the series.

In R&R, I wrote that I was transitioning between jobs. At the time of writing, I was six months into the job and I’d hit a wall. The timing of my holiday was perfect.

We planned a three-week trip to my home country so my child could meet my side of the family for the first time and so I could get some much-needed rest. This was the first time it was possible in two and a half years due to the pandemic.

The last few times I haven’t felt that excited about going ‘home’, as it always felt like we were on someone else’s agenda. It felt like our time had been booked out for us and we felt guilty about going anywhere other than my home region and country.

This time was different for two reasons. The first was that we now have a child and our child had never met my side of the family. The second was that I was exhausted and my body and mind were giving me signals that I needed to slow down.

So we decided that a lot of meetups would be just after dark and for a limited time. This worked well as most people were at work during the day and it gave us the freedom to explore and to show our child where their dad grew up.

Being a very rural area and having no fixed plans each day made for a very relaxing time. Our child loves the outdoors and animals so loved it. We had a blissful time together and created many beautiful memories. This was the most time we’d ever spent together and I treasure every moment.

We stayed with my parents for the whole time and it was wonderful seeing their relationships develop. It also gave my wife and I some opportunities to spend time together alone which has been incredibly rare. I brought no laptop and consciously limited technology use during our stay. The focus was on family, friends, and nature.

This trip and what happened next (see the following post) have done wonders for the soul and put everything into perspective. I know what I want my life to look like. I’m a better person when living the lifestyle described above. I now need to find a way to make work fit into this rather than chasing some far-off idea of an ideal life that may never materialise. We have a good idea of how to start making this happen over the next year and will begin to put this into action over the coming months. Time to focus on our values.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, stressed, or stuck, make having a serious rest period a priority. Listen to your body, mind, and soul – if you’re getting sick or weaker physically or mentally or your tank is empty it’s time to slow down or stop. When you’re under pressure and busy it feels counter-productive, but believe me, if done right it can work wonders. The key for me was to be more present, do less, and focus on recovery and what is important to me in life.

Being present is easier said than done. For me, it means leaving problems behind you when you’re not in the process of solving them (e.g. when at a social event or spending quality time with family).

The things that have helped me live more in the present moment are gratitude practices, prioritising time doing things I enjoy (and becoming more efficient at the things I don’t enjoy), spending a lot of time with a toddler, reducing my use of tech outside of work, increasing time in nature and learning about flow and 無為 (Wu Wei). Many people also recommend mediation, but this is an area in which I’m a complete beginner, so can’t comment much.

Time is our most precious asset, spend it on the things that fulfill you.

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Reflection

How do you spend your time?

Do you listen to your body and mind? What are they telling you?

What are your values? Are you in alignment with them?