You may have noticed I went dark for a while. I am currently in a transition period, the process of recalibration, learning how to go from teacher to manager. This has challenged the systems I had in place to protect my mental health. More on that later – a bit of background first and some lessons I have learned at the end.
Background – From Teacher to Manager (Imposter Syndrome)
Until just before my post on R&R, I had a highly productive schedule, using the early hours of the morning from 4 or 5 am to around 10 am to read, study or write. After that, I would have breakfast with my family and then cycle to work. This was working really well. I was tired but productive, achieving, increasing my self-esteem and staving off depression.
Since then, I have transitioned from being a teacher to a regional manager. This means a big schedule change. My previous teaching hours were between 1 pm-9 pm. I now essentially have a 9-5 office job. My day off was Tuesday. Now it is Saturday & Sunday, but my part-time job was on those days until the academic year ended last week, so I worked three weeks with no day off. I also have to drive to work, which means less exercise and more stress (peak hour traffic, abrupt lane changes and stopping = a mini-heart attack every day!).
The naive part of me thought the transition would be business as usual, just with some schedule adjustments. To stay productive, I thought it would just be a case of getting up earlier but I had not taken into account the stress of the new responsibilities and the lack of days off as I changed jobs.
My first few weeks have been quite intense as I learn about my new role.
Anxiety
I have had very little time to feel depressed. What I have struggled with is anxiety.
Here is what anxiety looks like for me: racing thoughts, increased heart rate, headaches from stress, impaired concentration and forgetfulness, incredibly focused concentration, and a general feeling of impending doom.
In my main job, I have gone from being responsible for teaching around 8 classes to representing the whole company and being responsible (and first point of contact) for around 18 schools.
This, and my lack of experience leaves me constantly questioning the decisions I make on a daily basis. I have the title, but I sometimes have the feeling of ‘Imposter Syndrome’. I just need to remind myself I was chosen for this job and can do it!
I am not worried about making mistakes – the anxiety I experience comes from the unknown, my blind spots and what fixing mistakes looks like, but I do see all of this as a hugely valuable learning opportunity. This is why I was willing to take a pay cut – to learn valuable skills that will pay off later.
However, I have two big issues looming that are still unresolved and they bother me, but I believe in my ability (probably because my superiors believe in me), and I have supportive guidance. Some things are out of my control, but as long as I focus on what I can control and make progress each week, I will be okay.
I have also been struggling to maintain a healthy work/life balance. As part of my responsibility for my core school, I had to share my personal contact details. This has already resulted in three occasions where I felt I had to deal with stuff at the weekend. This left me anxious all weekend and not fully present with my family. I have since learnt to set clearer boundaries around being contactable. There is probably no work issue that cannot be solved early on a Monday morning!
Positives
I have talked a lot about the challenges I have faced, but here are some of the positives of the job so far:
– Leadership focused on values that align with my own
– Leaders who act as mentors, teaching and guiding me every day
– Leadership that wants the individual team members to thrive
– A team that demands excellence by leading by example with high standards and attention to detail
– A supportive and helpful team
– Learning new skills every day
Strategy:
Stripping back
For now, I have had to strip back my non-work, non-family activities to singularly focus on my job. This may last a few months while I learn more about my job. This means study, reading and writing time is reduced. I will gradually build this back up. For now, I am surviving, but one day I will be thriving. Then I can really focus on making an impact in the job (I have a lot of ideas!). It shows that when you split your focus, quality suffers, but my goodness I am going to give it my all at work, in my writing and with my family.
Winning the day
Every morning, I try to ‘win the day’ personally and professionally. For me this means I read, learn or write one thing before work.
When I start work (before most people arrive), I focus on completing as much as I can of a weekly project task or major item on the to-do list.
This relieves a lot of pressure and anxiety and feels great. Everything else you achieve in the day is a bonus.
My current systems:
– Knowing my values (family, learning, service, integrity, honesty, discipline, love/kindness, empathy, creativity, proactivity, diligence and quality)
– Not opening work accounts outside of working hours
– Winning the day (personally, then professionally)
– Remembering that action is key to killing fear (anxiety)
– Prioritised to-do lists
– Front-loading the week with ongoing work (leaves room for the unexpected!
– Evernote (great for organising all your documents in one place on any device)
– Multiple screens for organisation (with only the essential programmes open)
– A whiteboard for quick notes (coded for privacy)
– Keeping a tidy workspace (reduces unnecessary minor stressors)
– Bookmarking folders and websites for easy access
– Scheduling space for deep work
– Scheduling flexibility for unexpected urgent issues
– Scheduling breaks that are focused on ‘me time’ (relaxation)
– Scheduling emails and paperwork
– Stripping back all non-essential activities until I am settled in my job
– Napping whenever possible and prioritising sleep
– Adjusting my driving time to avoid rush hour (I do personal work at the office before it is time to clock in)
– Focusing on being present with family
– Time in nature/outdoors
– Reducing phone use
– Reminding myself that I was chosen to do this job – I can do it
Lessons
1. Build and defend systems
2. Learn to prioritise (consider urgency and importance) (Eisenhower Matrix)
3. Defend your work/life balance (know your values, set boundaries!)
4. Win the day
5. Don‘t hesitate (or procrastinate), take action
6. Get deep work done early in the day (and week) before everyone else‘s demands pile up
7. Get efficient at organisation!
8. Schedule everything (but allow for flexibility and randomness)
9. Be flexible (being rigid results in disappointment and anxiety)
10. Focus on one goal or task at a time for maximum productivity and focus (avoid concentration tax)
11. Eliminate distractions (Is this action urgent or important? Is this action taking me toward my (or the company‘s) goals?
12. Eliminate unnecessary stress
13. Prioritise rest and relaxation. Learn to relax, switch off.
14. Learn to be present
15. Use phone for essentials only. Delete distracting apps or turn off notifications. Plan set times for usage.
16. Sign out of all work accounts when you finish work
17. Prioritise communication: written & spoken – get your message across with kindness, friendliness and empathy.
18. Seek training, mentorship, learn as much as you can
19. Things take time (this is the cost of quality)
20. Action is key to reducing fear and stress
21. Failure is only failure if you give up
22. Lead by example (demonstrate high standards)
23. Sculpt the future you want (if you hate your job or want to do something else, do something about it)
24. You can
I still fail at some of these, but it is part of the learning process. As I learn, I plan to share what I learn here. It seems like anxiety is taking over from depression, so I will consider how best to manage it. So far, action and busyness are helping, but it is exhausting to be on edge a lot of the time. This is where rest and relaxation are essential. If you have any tips that work for you, feel free to share in the comments!
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thejourneyx 