You may have noticed I went dark for a while. I am currently in a transition period, the process of recalibration, learning how to go from teacher to manager. This has challenged the systems I had in place to protect my mental health. More on that later – a bit of background first and some lessons I have learned at the end.
Background – From Teacher to Manager (Imposter Syndrome)
Until just before my post on R&R, I had a highly productive schedule, using the early hours of the morning from 4 or 5 am to around 10 am to read, study or write. After that, I would have breakfast with my family and then cycle to work. This was working really well. I was tired but productive, achieving, increasing my self-esteem and staving off depression.
Since then, I have transitioned from being a teacher to a regional manager. This means a big schedule change. My previous teaching hours were between 1 pm-9 pm. I now essentially have a 9-5 office job. My day off was Tuesday. Now it is Saturday & Sunday, but my part-time job was on those days until the academic year ended last week, so I worked three weeks with no day off. I also have to drive to work, which means less exercise and more stress (peak hour traffic, abrupt lane changes and stopping = a mini-heart attack every day!).
The naive part of me thought the transition would be business as usual, just with some schedule adjustments. To stay productive, I thought it would just be a case of getting up earlier but I had not taken into account the stress of the new responsibilities and the lack of days off as I changed jobs.
My first few weeks have been quite intense as I learn about my new role.
Anxiety
I have had very little time to feel depressed. What I have struggled with is anxiety.
Here is what anxiety looks like for me: racing thoughts, increased heart rate, headaches from stress, impaired concentration and forgetfulness, incredibly focused concentration, and a general feeling of impending doom.
In my main job, I have gone from being responsible for teaching around 8 classes to representing the whole company and being responsible (and first point of contact) for around 18 schools.
This, and my lack of experience leaves me constantly questioning the decisions I make on a daily basis. I have the title, but I sometimes have the feeling of ‘Imposter Syndrome’. I just need to remind myself I was chosen for this job and can do it!
I am not worried about making mistakes – the anxiety I experience comes from the unknown, my blind spots and what fixing mistakes looks like, but I do see all of this as a hugely valuable learning opportunity. This is why I was willing to take a pay cut – to learn valuable skills that will pay off later.
However, I have two big issues looming that are still unresolved and they bother me, but I believe in my ability (probably because my superiors believe in me), and I have supportive guidance. Some things are out of my control, but as long as I focus on what I can control and make progress each week, I will be okay.
I have also been struggling to maintain a healthy work/life balance. As part of my responsibility for my core school, I had to share my personal contact details. This has already resulted in three occasions where I felt I had to deal with stuff at the weekend. This left me anxious all weekend and not fully present with my family. I have since learnt to set clearer boundaries around being contactable. There is probably no work issue that cannot be solved early on a Monday morning!
Positives
I have talked a lot about the challenges I have faced, but here are some of the positives of the job so far:
- Leadership focused on values that align with my own
- Leaders who act as mentors, teaching and guiding me every day
- Leadership that wants the individual team members to thrive
- A team that demands excellence by leading by example with high standards and attention to detail
- A supportive and helpful team
- Learning new skills every day
Strategy:
Stripping back
For now, I have had to strip back my non-work, non-family activities to singularly focus on my job. This may last a few months while I learn more about my job. This means study, reading and writing time is reduced. I will gradually build this back up. For now, I am surviving, but one day I will be thriving. Then I can really focus on making an impact in the job (I have a lot of ideas!). It shows that when you split your focus, quality suffers, but my goodness I am going to give it my all at work, in my writing and with my family.
Winning the day
Every morning, I try to ‘win the day’ personally and professionally. For me this means I read, learn or write one thing before work.
When I start work (before most people arrive), I focus on completing as much as I can of a weekly project task or major item on the to-do list.
This relieves a lot of pressure and anxiety and feels great. Everything else you achieve in the day is a bonus.
My current systems:
- Knowing my values (family, learning, service, integrity, honesty, discipline, love/kindness, empathy, creativity, proactivity, diligence and quality)
- Not opening work accounts outside of working hours
- Winning the day (personally, then professionally)
- Remembering that action is key to killing fear (anxiety)
- Prioritised to-do lists
- Front-loading the week with ongoing work (leaves room for the unexpected!
- Evernote (great for organising all your documents in one place on any device)
- Multiple screens for organisation (with only the essential programmes open)
- A whiteboard for quick notes (coded for privacy)
- Keeping a tidy workspace (reduces unnecessary minor stressors)
- Bookmarking folders and websites for easy access
- Scheduling space for deep work
- Scheduling flexibility for unexpected urgent issues
- Scheduling breaks that are focused on ‘me time’ (relaxation)
- Scheduling emails and paperwork
- Stripping back all non-essential activities until I am settled in my job
- Napping whenever possible and prioritising sleep
- Adjusting my driving time to avoid rush hour (I do personal work at the office before it is time to clock in)
- Focusing on being present with family
- Time in nature/outdoors
- Reducing phone use
- Reminding myself that I was chosen to do this job – I can do it
Lessons
- Build and defend systems
- Learn to prioritise (consider urgency and importance) (Eisenhower Matrix)
- Defend your work/life balance (know your values, set boundaries!)
- Win the day
- Don’t hesitate (or procrastinate), take action
- Get deep work done early in the day (and week) before everyone else’s demands pile up
- Get efficient at organisation!
- Schedule everything (but allow for flexibility and randomness)
- Be flexible (being rigid results in disappointment and anxiety)
- Focus on one goal or task at a time for maximum productivity and focus (avoid concentration tax)
- Eliminate distractions (Is this action urgent or important? Is this action taking me toward my (or the company’s) goals?
- Eliminate unnecessary stress
- Prioritise rest and relaxation. Learn to relax, switch off.
- Learn to be present
- Use phone for essentials only. Delete distracting apps or turn off notifications. Plan set times for usage.
- Sign out of all work accounts when you finish work
- Prioritise communication: written & spoken – get your message across with kindness, friendliness and empathy.
- Seek training, mentorship, learn as much as you can
- Things take time (this is the cost of quality)
- Action is key to reducing fear and stress
- Failure is only failure if you give up
- Lead by example (demonstrate high standards)
- Sculpt the future you want (if you hate your job or want to do something else, do something about it)
- You can
I still fail at some of these, but it is part of the learning process. As I learn, I plan to share what I learn here. It seems like anxiety is taking over from depression, so I will consider how best to manage it. So far, action and busyness are helping, but it is exhausting to be on edge a lot of the time. This is where rest and relaxation are essential. If you have any tips that work for you, feel free to share in the comments!
thejourneyx 