In my last posts, I described a brief mental health crisis I went through. The lesson I’ve had to re-learn is that I need to re-shift my focus to what’s in my control. I need to take full ownership of my situation because no one else can or will. It’s nothing personal; it’s just that everyone has their own priorities. In this post, I’ll show you how you can help yourself by focusing on what is in your control.
In my particular circumstances, I lost faith in myself to resolve my own problems, so I did what you’re supposed to do—I reached out for help. In the previous post, I described how that didn’t work out for me (but please do reach out for help if you’re having mental health challenges).
When you think about all the problems that surround you, it can be overwhelming. The question that helps me in these situations is: “What’s in my control?” I focus on what I can do and then do what I can. However, sometimes I forget and need a reminder of this…
So, in my most recent crisis, seeking help was in my control. Receiving help was not. That was the mistake I made (not for the first time). The people I reached out to had too many other people to help so the priority is to move people on to the next treatment as soon as possible, regardless of what’s best for the individual. It never seems to be about curing the problem. How could they know what’s best for you after speaking to you for a few hours maximum? Ultimately, I’m the one who knows me the best, so it’s ultimately up to me to navigate.
In my situation, I had put myself in an unbalanced power dynamic. By outsourcing my problems, I was essentially handing over responsibility for my health to others. People who don’t know me or care about me. These people may or may not have been able to help, but they certainly couldn’t make me healthy. In the end, I didn’t receive the help I needed; instead I should have been looking for ways to help myself independent of any possible help I may have received.
Now that I’ve decided to go it alone, what’s in my control now is reminding myself of my reasons to keep going, making a little progress each day and repeatedly coming back to the present.
Seek the help you need, but focus on what you can control. Be careful of your expectations. Accept that you only have control over seeking help, not receiving it. You can’t control what other people say or do, but you can choose how to respond. Learn what you need to do to get and stay healthy and choose something you can and will do each day to work on that. Noone else can do that for you. You know you the best—trust yourself. Be kind to yourself.
thejourneyx 
5 thoughts on “Control”