Language is more powerful than you might think. It can be used to build people up or it can be used as a weapon to destroy.
This is particularly true for self-talk. What habitual language do you use every day?
Having a child has revealed some of mine to me and it’s not all good.
There’s also the language noone else hears. If you’re anything like me there’s a tendency to use words and phrases like (and not limited to) should, have to, but, I’m such a…, Why do I always/never…
Think about who’s listening to those words…. The more you repeat them the more you believe them and this affects your future actions.
These words and phrases destroy self-confidence and lead to a lack of self-esteem as you start to avoid doing difficult things because you believe you’ll mess up. (Really messing up is just one way that didn’t work – try again until you succeed.)
Those words and phrases are also damaging if you use them against someone else for the same reasons described above.
Pay attention to your speech and thoughts about yourself and others. If it’s putting someone down, don’t repeat it. Everyone has enough challenges as it is.
Instead, show curiosity, compassion and self-love. Ask yourself (or them if appropriate) why they said that. There may be a genuine reason, it might just have come across as cold.
Think about your state of mind when you hear or say things as this will affect your interpretation of the message.
Avoid absolutes. Replace should and have to with could or want to, and but with and, or vice versa depending on the sentence. Problems become challenges that you can overcome. It’s all in the positive reframing.
An additional note I’d like to add here is: Don’t refer to illnesses or sicknesses as my depression etc. It’s not your identity, you are not depression or whatever. This makes it less likely for you to get help and recover.
Instead of the negativity, look out for ways to encourage genuine, specific praise for what someone’s done for you. Make a point of noticing and acknowledging the good things you and others have done.
Don’t expect to improve overnight, but work on it little by little and your life and the lives around you will improve.
Spread the love. The world needs more compassion.
What language do you want to change and how will you do it?
Let’s start a conversation.
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thejourneyx 