(Unplanned post Part 1)
It’s time for another unplanned spontaneous post. I don’t know exactly where this is going but it will be clear by the end.
So recently I’ve been struggling with low energy and burnout. I’ve been in a job for 9 months while holding onto a part-time job. The main job is particularly demanding in terms of workload and revealing all my weaknesses. Having a part-time job has meant I’ve only had one day off during this time. The combination has driven me to burnout. I’ve been struggling to be present with my family and it can be quite depressing being constantly tired and unable to play with my child or be there for my wife.
I was faced with some tough decisions. I’ve already put studying for a diploma on hold and now something else had to go – either my main job or my part-time one. I either had to quit my main job and increased my part-time hours or quit my part-time job.
I didn’t know what to choose as they both had value for different reasons. The main job had a lot of growth and learning potential but is particularly demanding and the part-time job would really help with the diploma. Having a family to think about certainly added another dimension to it. I talked to a few people I trust and respect but ultimately the decision had to come from me.
In the end, I had to come back to goals and values. I value my family above all else so I was sure about quitting one of the jobs as this would give me more energy and time for them. I also value learning and growth highly which I’m getting from both jobs. However, the main job pushes me harder across more areas. The diploma was started in order to get the kind of job I already have so it made sense to keep the main job. Going part-time would give me more time with family but put financial pressure on us. I found myself going in circles.
Eventually, I was faced with a deadline to decide on signing for a second year at the main job. My main boss kindly answered all my questions and helped me with the process of making big decisions while trying not to influence my decision. In the meantime I also spoke indirectly with my other boss who gave similar insight as my main boss.
I was still unsure for days after and one day in the fog of decision fatigue, I decided to take a long nap. During the nap, I had a hugely symbolic dream which revealed quite clearly to me what I needed to do. This often happens to me when faced with big decisions. It’s like my subconscious has had enough of the indecision and starts screaming at me.
So I decided to stay at the main job and quit the part-time job. I’m at peace with that decision now and look forward to three months’ time when this plan goes into effect. I feel like I’m holding on until then but I have the full support of my wife for which I am hugely grateful. I’m also very grateful to have compassionate bosses who have been very supportive of my well-being.
How do you make big decisions?
Has a dream ever guided you in your decision-making process?
thejourneyx 
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