Let me preface by saying that you should always consider medical help, or reaching out to a trained professional such as a mental health helpline-you do not have to work through this alone.
I am going to start this post with some actionable steps (in bold) based on my experience and then give some personal examples.
1. Recognise what triggers you.
It could be a specific type of comment from someone, music, or a specific type of situation. Once you know what triggers you, you can be better prepared to manage it when it happens-it will happen-gradually or instantly. What could you do, or how could you react next time to reduce negative thinking?
2. Develop tools.
Tools can be for specific situations, but also for the daily management of depression.
Think about what relaxes you or what makes you feel alive. These have been the best tools for me.
Relaxation tools are to give you a break from thinking too much and reduce the stress in your life, and tools that serve your passion are to revive the soul and kick start positive thinking. Other tools are for distraction or learning how to reduce the impact of depression. Many tools work better for me when purposefully scheduled into my day.
Try different things until you find things that work for you-they may not be perfect, but the goal is to improve your mood and thinking patterns.
Tools that work for me:
Spending time with family/friends.
Learning something (including about depression)-YouTube, podcasts and audiobooks are awesome, you can listen anywhere. Reading is great too.
Only listening to advice from people who know what they are talking about! (This goes for “Learning something” too!)
Focusing on the present and enjoying the moment.
Setting and working toward realistic goals.
Working on something productive.
Having a bath.
Spending time in nature (or listening to nature sounds on YouTube).
Listening to upbeat/relaxing instrumental music, positive music or background music.
Getting out of the house, or doing something different.
Exercise (it is essential to choose something you enjoy!).
Keeping an open mind to new ideas.
Cutting out unnecessary activities, avoiding time wasting activities (unless I need to switch off).
Turning off notifications on my phone and checking emails once per day.
Having no-go zones/times for phone use (especially the bedroom, bathroom, when I wake up, when I am with family).
Deleting/reducing social media and news.
Creating schedules and checklists to reduce thinking and choice.
Reducing possessions.
Talking to people I trust.
3. Choose how to spend time wisely
The things and people (in person or online whether you know them or not) you spend the most time with will influence you heavily for better or worse. If you spend all of your time surrounded by negative influences (negative people, sad music, social media, news for example), depression is almost guaranteed in my opinion. Misery loves company.
On the other hand, if they are positive, they can help you grow. When I see negativity in my life, I try to cut it out as much as possible.
4. Be present.
For me the key to contentedness and stability is to spend time each day in the moment.
I am not saying to never think about past or future, but there is no value in worrying about things you cannot change. Make a mistake, learn from it, forgive yourself, move on-for me this was essential in cutting anxiety from my life.
Plan for the future, but enjoy what is happening now.
I just had a rare week off work.
I had forgotten how important time off can be and how much it can rejuvenate you. I suddenly had a lot of extra time to spend with family and time to work on my passions and goals. This was wonderful for my mental health-I got to choose how I spent my time and who with.
This lead me into a false sense of security. Things were going really well and I began to forget about depression. Then something happened and in an instant I was dragged into some very reactionary dark thinking patterns. Thankfully I recognised this, caught it and worked myself away from it, but it was a potent reminder that for someone like me, systems and tools to protect me from myself are essential.
One of my biggest triggers is music. I think that is why nowadays I mostly listen to background music or chill out music. I used to bathe in the sadness/darkness/anger of music thinking it was helping me deal with my emotions. I was wrong-over time I became more depressed, anxious and angry. At some point I made a conscious decision to stop listening to negative music (no matter how beautiful or meaningful it seemed) and my level of depression became more manageable relatively quickly.
Another trigger for me is when I feel like I have failed at something that I have been working to improve on. I guess in my mind I have worked so hard for so long to be a better person, but I am reminded that the path before me is much longer than the path behind me.
Depression seems to come with short-term memory loss and an ability to forget all of the progress you have made or the good things in your life. I have to remind myself that even if I messed up, I have come a long way from where I was, and I can choose how much it affects my mood.
When I recognise a trigger, I think about why it affected me and then go to my tools. If I am thinking too much, I will choose something to relax or distract. If I am feeling generally really low, I will try to do an activity that interests or excites me, something that I am passionate about.
As well as tools for specific situations, I plan a couple of hours before everyone is awake to work on my passions and I do relaxing activities after work to wind down.
Sometimes a distraction is all you need, but at some point you do need to figure out why those triggers are affecting you so much and how to reduce their impact on you.
It is useful to check-in with yourself regularly; are you moving forward? Don’t be too hard on yourself if not-try to do one small thing today to help yourself. A little progress each day adds up.
What are your triggers? Do you have any tools you can share? Let’s help each other!
thejourneyx 