What is depression?

Depression is complicated. For me it is background noise in the everyday-sometimes the volume gets so loud it’s distracting, sometimes you forget it’s there. At the same time it is an invisible lens that shapes how I see the world. Like seeing the world through shades of only one colour.

It is so much more than just sadness. That can be a part of it, but it is sometimes random physical symptoms, sometimes more obvious emotional reactions, other times plain emotional numbness, but most of all, it is unending exhaustion-physically and mentally.

I have and still am learning how to live with it. I try to see the bright side as much as possible. I am an optimist, but I am also a realist. I believe that it is possible to live without depression, but it has been so ingrained in my life that I also know that it can flare up without obvious warning. That knowledge is empowering because I have developed and continue to develop tools to deal with it. More on that later. If I did not live with depression, I would be a very different person I am sure, but I do and it has forced me to become more resilient, stronger and more empathetic.

It is a journey. Depression is like one of those people in your life who you know really well, but can be really bad to spend too much time with-misery loves company. Choose who and what you spend your time with wisely!